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Complaining

I'm so determined right now. Determined to make excuse after excuse for my current condition.

Up 25 pounds of the 100 plus pounds I originally lost. Unable to comfortably run more than 4 miles. Skipped a big race several weeks ago because I wasn't ready. Why, you may ask? Well I'll tell you... I'm tired, had personal trauma, enjoy cookies (especially when I am having personal trauma), not comfortable running alone, couldn't get to the gym, and have been uncomfortable for weeks.

A friend of mine just texted me and said something like: 'Your body doesn't do heat. Apparently mine doesn't do cold.' I totally understand what she is feeling!!! It sucks when your body doesn't react as intended. Here's the thing, my body does do cold, so much so that I keep my house at a frigid 65-68 degrees all times of the year; and then all of a sudden it doesn't, do cold that is. This week for example? I walked around thinking, 'damn, I'm uncomfortable'. Guess what? It never made it above 50 degrees in North East Ohio, but I was still uncomfortable. Was the discomfort because of the quick change in temperature? Or because of the before mentioned excuses...  

Anyway, today I went out to spectate the Columbus Marathon and wondered why the heck I was internally whining all week? What you see while standing on the sidelines of a marathon, are a group of people who have true grit. There is no time to complain when you are running a marathon, because the energy used to complain could take away from the energy needed to finish the race.

I need to apply that theory to my excuses. Sure, I've been uncomfortable all week, and I mean really uncomfortable. I've basically been feeling like my body has been in a vice that is being squeezed, but every time I give that discomfort attention, it takes a little energy away from what needs to get done.

If you've been following along recently, I have officially decided that it is time for a half ironman encore, and I finally pulled the trigger. It is now time to make myself a different type of uncomfortable. I'm going to literally push my boundaries beyond this current place of discomfort, hopefully lose more weight, eat normal food again, and quit complaining...

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