The Test

I am the most forgetful person on the planet. I had this amazing blog post crafted in my head on Friday but I have no recollection of the intended content. And then today as I lazed around for most of the day I totally forgot it was Sunday and I needed to write said blog post.

The one thing that I recall from working out this week, of which there are very few workouts to choose from, is that the heat is not my friend, nor is the solo workout... but we all knew that! So forget blogging about working out, instead I'm going to blog about life in general.

As you all know, I do love my friends, kind of like my family. There is an unconditional nature to some of my friendships that I do not deny. This summer I have tested the limits on some of those friendships simply because of circumstances outside of my control. I refuse to test people purposefully because that isn't right. I remember dating someone who asked me a question. When I responded I remember the response was something like, whew, you passed that test. I was so ticked off because that is not how you treat someone you love, right? Needless to say, that relationship didn't last because of some other test I apparently failed.

So back to working out... I am training for a half marathon in November. Just one year ago I thought I was going to primarily participate in full marathons, and then my circumstances changed. These circumstances have tested my mind, body and spirit. I don't like to do events anymore unless I am totally prepared. I learned that lesson long ago and I honestly have no interest in testing it again. While training for this half marathon I keep reminding myself that the only thing I desire is the finish line. I know this will not be a PR, well it might be a PR for the slowest half marathon of my life, but I'm OK with that.

The struggle with choosing to focus on the finish line rather than performance is that my motivation has waned. But, I also have those circumstances I mentioned before that have dramatically impacted EVERYTHING about my training this summer. What I am realizing is that my circumstanced did not have to take over, but they did. I allowed them to. Basically, new information tested my mind this summer, which in turn tested my body which quickly began to fail that test. I am fortunate to have the best friend a person could ask for, who continues to show up with me and listen to me while I process through new information and what are seemingly impossible workouts.

My body still struggles, my mind still struggles but my life has been enriched by the unconditional nature at which I approach goals. You see, I have not given up on training for this half marathon. In fact, this test sucks but I refuse to let it beat me. I do think some tests are designed to make you fail, remember the infamous bell curve in college? Well, this time will not be the average, I will be the one who passes with flying colors, afterall the only  requirement to pass this test in the finish line.

This quote has kept me going: "A body in motion stays in motion. A body at rest stays at rest." Stay in motion people! Let's destroy that bell curve together!!!