Monday, February 16, 2015

Thinking Out Loud

I'm not a big Ed Sheeran fan. As a matter of fact, when I hear his songs come on the radio I'm fairly quick to change the station, and along came Thinking Out Loud, and my Ed Sheeran disdain subsided. It is kind of like my relationship with Bruno Mars... I am embarrassed to say that I like his music, but am not embarrassed by the creativity and thoughtfulness of the lyrics. This is where I should mention that Ed Sheeran was not alone in writing Thinking Out Loud. Amy Wadge, a songwriter, helped write this song.

The opening lyrics of the song immediately spoke to me.

When your legs don't work like they used to before...

Boom! I'm intrigued.

And so I listened intently... It turned into a love song about the world of unconditional love. Life experience has taught me that unconditional love/friendship does not come along daily, and so when it does, it is a true gift

For those of you who have a chronic disease, doesn't matter what disease, you will likely understand this fairly easily. Basically, your body will likely change over time, perhaps at a more progressive rate than your peers who do not have a chronic disease, and there is this fear that can travel along with the chronic disease that people will abandon you, leave you, and choose not to be your friend. Ask some of the people I spend a lot of time with and they will tell you this is my biggest fear. I fret over it actually...

Here's the interesting thing, I'm not afraid of not being able to walk. You know why? Because there is always a wheel chair. I'm not afraid of the pain. Why? There is medication. I'm not afraid of falling over because I can always get back up, in some way. And this is where the lyrics take me to a place of longing for knowing my friends will stick by my side.

The one thing I know is that regardless of your situation, chronic disease or not, you never know what tomorrow has to bring and so it is extremely important to live for today, something I struggle with. It is a hard concept for some people, including me, but this song speaks to that fear of not having at least one thing that is unconditional in your life.

I'm the queen of being hard on the unconditionals in my life, fair or not, it is true. If I know you will be around tomorrow, I can sometimes take advantage of that. I hope I'm not alone in that, and I suspect I am not, but when you listen more closely to the lyrics, and take the love out of it...

When my hairs all but gone and my memory fades
And the crowds don't remember my name
When my hands don't play the strings in the same way
I know you will still love me the same

These lyrics are not about love per se, but instead about the gift of truly caring about someone unconditionally, through the bad days, the not nice words, aging, changing abilities and so on. I know that I am a fortunate one; one of the people who has unconditional friends/family who would likely say:

...your soul could never grow old, it's evergreen
...your smile's forever in my mind and memory

I'm lucky that people trust this, especially on my grumpy days!

So, what is the true point of this post? I honestly don't know the answer to that... I'll let you figure that out for yourself. The one thing I am personally taking away from this is that when my unconditional people around me 'keep making the same mistakes', I will give them the gift of understanding! You should too!!!

Here is the song for your listening pleasure. (If you are viewing on a mobile device, and can't view the video here, you can access it through this link

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