Wednesday, July 1, 2015

The Damn Birds

I finally have a working computer again!!!!!!!!! Who knew that a new power cord could be so hard to find? My computer is not that old but turns out, if a newer version of a Microsoft product comes out, Microsoft makes it very difficult to procure replacement cords for older products. 

I've been absent from the blog the above mentioned reason. I don't find it an easy prospect to write a blog post on a touch screen phone with a 3 inch cell phone screen. I have so much to post from birds, trail angst, and general stories from the trail. Where to begin? I don't even know...

I'll keep it simple... 

Take a look at this picture, they are cute right?


Don't be fooled, they eventually turn into this, keep reading to hear my stories.



If you know me at all, you know that I have bad bird energy. Birds hate me; I hate birds. If there is a 'bird house' at a zoo, I will loudly decline walking through the bird-itat because all those darn birds will do is poop on me! I was actually telling some of my bird stories at work this morning. Where does my disdain for birds come from? Well, it could be that time I was on a ferry to Alcatraz Island and the birds flying over head decided to take several craps down the front of my shirt. Or could it be that time at band camp (actually a band trip to Florida) when I went to a 4D viewing of a portion of the movie Birds. Birds were flying in my face, water was falling out of the sky, birds were pecking on my legs; or so they made it seem. Or maybe my disdain comes from the dinner table? When I lived in Colorado, I was having dinner on a restaurant patio, suddenly the middle of my head was wet. Why you may ask? Well, I asked the guy who was sitting next to me, and he looked, it was a big pile of snotty bird crap slowly soaking my hair.

DAMN BIRDS!!!!!!!

So, here are a few more recent bird stories...

Last year Sue and I were riding around the state, and stopped for lunch 35 miles into, what was probably meant to be, a 35 mile bike ride. We were sitting on a patio at a restaurant and I pointed out the exotic looking bird on the patio fence. I think Sue about busted a gut because the bird in question was this lovely bird:


Apparently it wasn't a real bird!!! 

Most recently, my friend and I were riding on the local trails, when we came upon geese crossing the trail. I swiftly stopped in my tracks and asked my friend to part the way because I knew the geese would hiss and chase me. Several years ago, when I was riding my bike to work all the time, I would take the trail to work. After several rides in which geese waddled faster than I thought birdly possible, chasing me and trying to bite me, my fear and disdain for birds began!!! I am known to run away from geese because they are evil creatures that are out to scare the human creatures who 'cross their path'. 

So, last week, on another bike ride, I was minding my own business, chasing Sue up a hill, well actually more like trying to keep up with Sue while climbing a mountain, and I heard a squawk. The bird didn't stop there, it instead flew right up to my head and slammed its' beak into my helmet, knocking my head forward and almost knocking me off my bike!!!

And you wonder why I dislike birds!!! Oh, and most recently, geese were put on the list of the top 10 most dangerous animals for runners. Beware the stinking geese. 



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